The Mark…

Im not sure how or why but for some reason I became the “mark” of a man that thought it would be cool to manufacture a life I dont know if was for me or himself but I have to say it was good.

Dr. Cameron Blakely, I know I should have known for the get go, when it sounded like a soap opera stars name. Was a smart, accomplished 30 year old Doctor in the US Navy. He headed the ER in two of the cities best Military hospitals and because he was such an over achiever, he not only worked at one of the biggest civilian hospitals here but also a childrens hospital as well.

Dr. Blakely was kind. He was funny. He was empathetic and witty. He worked tirelessly at all the hospitals, it seemed like he was going from one patient crisis, to another. Helping out as many people as he could. He told me that “helping people is my calling.” And what a calling it was. He was up for the challenge for sure. Between surgery, notes, putting in orders for meds pulling all nighters and the heartbreaking loss of some of his favorite patients, I was there going through it all with him. I felt honored to know such a man, not because of his occupation, but because there was synergy when we talked the conversations flowed as easily as melted chocolate on the dash of car in the middle of a hot Arizona summer. It was all easy, there were no awkward pauses, there was only happy anticipation until Dr. Blakely had the time once again to honor me with his time and focus.

The closer we got, the more he seemed to seamlessly fill some kind of void in me. It was addictive. He seemed to anticipate things about me that I did not even know I cared about much less needed filled. It was the perfect combination of humor, wit and sympathy, that is until Dr. Blakely finally confessed to me his darkest secret. He was dying. Cancer. He had been given less that eight months to live. How could this be? This man, who was so giving, so caring how could the universe do this to him?

“I stopped treatment. If I only have 8 months to live, I’d rather be helping people than helping myself.”

Dr. Cameron Blakely

My heart broke, I couldnt understand. How could this wonderful man, this gifted, giving hearted man have been dealt such an awful hand at 30? Where was the justice? He slaved in med school for a decade to help people and life was going to cut his time here short like that? If I were to say I was sad, that would have been an understatement, I was more on the devastated side.

Dr. Blakley told me that through all of this he was going through an awful divorce from his partner. The partner was draining him and trying to get him kicked out of the military. He told me a few weeks ago he was in the hospital for 4 days having “cancer treatment” and the spouse never once came to visit and was so mean they actually busted the window out on his Jeep while he was in the hospital. (I bought Dr. Blakely a new window for the drivers side of his Jeep to replace it) He had discontinued treatment as they made him feel awful and he had decided to just “live the best life he could for the remaining eight months he had left to live.” He told me that he had been in such a bad place he had used cocaine and crystal meth was suicidal and was drinking heavily over the whole situation. That was not going to work for me, Im a fighter! I told him that I would help him, we would go to another doctor for more aggressive treatments I would help him, take him to the appointments, take care of him when he got sick from them, whatever I could do I was there!

I make him promise me 1) he had to stop using drugs, 2) he couldn’t try to suicide himself anymore, (He knew I had a close friend die of that a few weeks back and I was struggling to come to terms with my friend loosing their life) He asked me, “why would you want to stick around and help me? That takes a man, your a man, I am not” I felt like the universe had brought this sad man into my life so I could help him through the hard times he was going through.

To be continued….